in the beginning and at the end [Devotional]

“Give thanks to the Lord, because he is good; his love is eternal…Give thanks to the God of heaven; his love is eternal.”

 

Psalms 136:1, 26, English Good News Translation

 

 

These verses open and close Psalm 136. What comes in the middle is not covered here, because that is not the point of this piece. The point is that in the beginning and at the end, no matter how difficult, awkward, painful, or depressing the things are in the middle- all things being said- God is good and His love is eternal.

This is a thought that I easy to dismiss based simply how many times we have heard that.

“ow, god is good, chil’…”

God is good. But it is easy to forget that simply based on the things that he has allowed to happen.

“but why did this had to happen to me?”

But it does not dismiss that fact that God is good. His goodness is present in everything in nature. It is present in the beauty of the ocean, the awesome spectacle of a night sky full of stars, the horrific destructive power of the hurricane, and the ability of the human mind to create everything from chocolate the space shuttle.

It is present in the ability of kindness to sooth the pains that we come across, no matter if we are the giver or the receiver. It is present in the power of God that excels all thought that keeps us when all human understanding has failed us.

I want to trust what I can see. I say that I don’t trust good because I don’t trust Him. I blame God for the things that I have had to go through. But it is during those times that I forget about all the tiny, random, little things that bring me joy and peace. When I go through hell, I forget about all the people and things that God provides that truly comfort and instead rely on food, cigarettes, and shallow companions to ease the pain.

It is times like this when I have to remember that I see the past that was shaped by a friend that taught me about the real world and gave me the strength and the knowledge to live that world, one that was foreign after years in the [cult]Church. I see the girls who again and again gave me something to live for. I see all the wonders of the world in a search for myself. I see the Great Lesson that brought me down enough to be able to hear the Call and follow the Path, even as messed up as I am. I see the mentors and guides that have patiently helped me process my past.

I have gone through so much hell in this life that the one on the next life seems almost like a release. But I have also seen that God is good.

I don’t always believe it. And it sometimes takes me time to remember it, but that knowledge makes enough of a difference to keep me going.

Because God is good.

Thanks be the God.

 

 

 

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