the lower case ‘him’ I love….

I’m writing this on a Sunday morning at about 6:30am, watching as my husband sleeps peacefully (and snore free at the moment) next to me.

I do this often. And it’s one of the highlights of my day.

Since I have started the Path of Discipleship, I have had to face the reality that my husband was not interested in being more than a self described “twice a year” Christian. And the thought of being on this path without him saddened me and angered me for a long time.

I wanted a Christian husband, dammit! I deserve this! This road is hard and the last thing I want to is to do this by myself!

And I would dream what it would be like to have a husband that was a Christian like I am becoming. And the more the thought about it, the more I prayed about it and the more I prayed about it, the more I woud find myself looking at him sleep.

And the same question always came up:

Who is this man I married?

This is a man that never (never) lied to me. He gave me the truth even when he knew it would hurt himself and his worldview. He gave me the truth even though I didn’t want to hear it because it bursted my ego into little pieces. Then we make a plan to change our perspective.

This is a man with a cool confidence; he knows his strengths and his weaknesses. Where change is needed, he addresses it and makes very. glacially. slow. moves. to. change. them.

This is a man that doesn’t need the constant stroking of his ego; as a matter of fact, he doesn’t want or need the company of people that won’t shoot straight. He was raised by wonderful people that believe that if you can’t handle the truth, you can’t handle their company (and I adore their company).

This is a man that is willing to face his faults. Does he like it? Hell no! (who does?) But he will explain his viewpoint and why he thinks it’s important and (the essential point here) will listen about how they are seen and what effect they have. He will argue, but he will listen. He will fight, but he will always (always) reinforce that we are still friends after everything has been said.

And I think, in the end is the central point.

We have sometimes been more roommates than husband and wife at times, but we have always (and always will be) friends.

He is my closest and dearest friend and I am his.

He has worked harder than I am willing to admit at times to keep and maintain this friendship and for that reason alone I will always be at his side and work to be the wife that he deserves…

and even if it means that I will travel this one Path alone, he is still with me. And a life without him as my dear friend and husband is a life that I don’t want (he points out that he has to die first for the same reason….lol).

Thanks be to God.




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