The Choice

Over the last few months, I have been looking for a path or in common terms, I have been looking for a goal, something to work towards. While I was a member of the [cult]Church, the goal was to preach, start Bible studies and guide people towards baptism. And there was a very precise way to do this; dress this way, say this thing, use this book, tell them this, lead them this way, teach them that… in a very straight line, linear.

After returning to Abba, I have found that the life of a follower of Christ and evangelist is anything but. There are so many ways to reach, preach, and teach and I realize that I don’t have to find them all, just the ones that I can use most effectively in service for those who serve and those who seek.

And I thought I had to leave The Hill to do that.

The Hill is very young (just over a year old) and I see so many ways that I can serve and assist them in reaching, feeding and equipping those within the congregation and the community.  And the more I thought about what I could do, and the more I prayed about what could be done, the more I realized that I wasn’t fully equipped for it. I needed to learn something else, but I had no clue what.

So I went back to what I knew. When I was to reach and teach before what did I do?


I read the Bible daily.

I did personal study.

I went to and participated in the Theocratic Ministry School and honed my skills…aha!!

I have always done the first two, even after I left the [cult]Church. But I haven’t had any real training since I have returned to Abba and to the Church.  So I found it at the Austin Stone. And I got fed. But the time that I spent took me away from the Hill and that’s where I was supposed to be…where I wanted to be.

But I wouldn’t be doing any good if I wasn’t fully prepared, right? They would think that I really didn’t know the Lord if they knew that I was at another church getting trained, wouldn’t they? They would think the worst of me after I talked about all these things that I wanted to do for them and then just run off, right?


I don’t have to be fully prepared, that is to say I don’t have to ensure that. But I do have to be ready to learn each and every lesson that Abba provides. So I take the classes at the Stone and humbly take in the information and apply it.

They know that training (equipping) is essential and that it is needed and the fact that I heed this portion of the call.

They know that God calls all away for a season or seasons and that the goal is Abba’s will , not our’s.

So I learn and I am fed. And I go to two different churches without guilt.

And to serve without guilt or fear seems to be the ultimate goal.




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